Dogs in Bars
Man’s best friend? Dogs. Second best friend? Booze. Even better? Dogs in bars.
This piece has been a long time coming. We frequent Chicago’s watering holes to write, relax with friends, and catch live music. Many of these establishments welcome our furry friends—and as it turns out, they’ve got plenty to say.
Perch at Cody's Public House
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to live up to my name and become a fishing guide. Fish is in my blood.
So Perch, you’re a very good boy—
Yes I am!
…so what advice do you have to other dogs on how to be a good boy?
Ah, well it’s important to sleep in the bed every night.
When you’re asleep, what do you dream about?
Chicken, red meat, eggs… I’m very food oriented.
Violet at Weeds Tavern
What are you excited about today?
Just being outside, enjoying the summer day, and playing with my ball.
Who is your best friend?
Sawyer (another puppy nearby). Oh, and my ball!
Do you have any superpowers?
I can sniff out a snack anywhere, especially if it’s peanut butter. Now, have you seen my ball?
Mija at Bourgeois Pig Cafe
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Something where I hunt. Maybe a Chicago forest ranger, so I can hunt all the squirrels…
Who is your best friend?
My mom. Well both my parents. But my mom.
What was the best part of your weekend?
Laying here in the sun with a pup cup.
Gary at Wrigleyville North
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A tax attorney.
What are you getting up to this weekend?
Well, I’m getting groomed by Lake Michigan.
And what are you looking forward to this week?
I’m just hoping that The Substance wins Best Picture at the Oscars.
(Update: It did not.)
Luca in Dram Shop
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A cat.
Who is your best friend?
My mom, Jennifer. She’s been celibate for six months—by choice, she says. Though I heard she’s into Gen Z, so maybe you could help her out.
Jennifer, want to respond to that?
When people meet Luca, they say, “I want a husky.” I tell them, “No, you don’t.” He made my life hell for the first three years. He used to pee on people at the dog park. Luca is only presentable now because of my good dog parenting. Anyway, enough about Luca—can I get you a drink?
Luka in Rose Lounge
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I’m good at disguises—I used to be a human. So probably a spy now.
For whom? The Russians?
That’s classified.
Alright, what are you looking forward to this month?
It’s finally warm enough for me to go into the lake. I can swim in circles for hours.
You seem to have quite the accomplished, multispecies life. What advice do you have for us?
Live life and enjoy food. Well, I enjoy all food except vegetables. I also love garbage—my mom and I debate whether that’s food.
Rocky at Side Street Saloon
I hear you have a superpower, what is it?
I’m a cardiac support dog! I keep my dad safe and healthy.
That’s great! Is he your best friend?
That’s tough, I’d probably have to say my dad’s sister Bridget. I get so excited every time I see her!
You seem excited today too—what are you so excited about?
The Notre Dame game. Go Irish!
Ivy at Wrigleyville North
What do you want to be when you grow up?
The sheriff. I want to solve crimes. That’s the only way I can make sure everything goes my way.
What was your favorite thing about this weekend?
Had a nice walk around the city. My parents smoked some pot and listened to the Beatles.
And what are you looking forward to this week?
Looking forward to going to the groomer—not the grooming itself, but the outcome.
Hally at Weeds Tavern
Tell me about where you are you from Hally.
Utah.
Who is your best friend?
Gavin, the bar manager.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A dentist.
Anything else you want to share?
Can I go back to my dad now?
This blog post is part of Daniel Rowe's Blog, Offworld, exploring joy in science fiction, fantasy, travel, pet posts, and more.